Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
