I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
