I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
