Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
what the fuck happened to the tacos
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize