I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize