capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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