This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
