did you get engaged???
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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