Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
