I think my vagina is haunted
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize