Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
