dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
