if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Randomize
