Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
