Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
