Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
