yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
