She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
