wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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