next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize