I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
