I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Drake has all the answers
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
