I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
