yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize