I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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