i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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