11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
