awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
