Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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