I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
