when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
