quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
