Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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