Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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