You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
