Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
