"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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