I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize