Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
