The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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