i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
