Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
nutella sex= disaster
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
