Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Randomize
