Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
