You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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