Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
