Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
