On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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