i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
