Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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