cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
