absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think my moral compass just broke
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
