I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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