She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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