dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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