He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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