Please, let me fuck your mom
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
