I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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