bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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