So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
