would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
