I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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