i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize