the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
