How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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