Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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