I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
