Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize