My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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