allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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