if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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