my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize