He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
