I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
