If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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