She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
