Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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