i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
