Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
