I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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