Sry I called you an 8
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
