Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
